Main Message: This Project Cornerstone book of the month continues to give kids tools to deal with verbal bullying. Though the illustrations and words of this book are geared towards younger children, the message and tools are essential for our older kids as they get ready to bridge to middle school.

Chrysanthemum tells the story of a child who thought her unusual name was perfect until she started school. On the first day, she suspected that her name was not so perfect as her class dissolves into giggles upon hearing her name. That evening, Chrysanthemum’s parent try to piece her self-esteem back together with a night filled with family bonding.

We can all probably remember an instance as children of being teased or ridiculed which is known as verbal bullying. The ABC program is hoping to greatly reduce verbal bullying at our school. Research shows that children who are victims of this type of behavior don’t do as well academically as those who feel safe and cared about by their peers.

Gone are the days when we could ignore bullying behaviors by saying “kids will be kids”. The National Institute for Health has released statistics nothing that the third leading cause of death for teenagers in this country today is suicide, because of bullying. Working together, we can provide a safer and more caring learning environment for all our kids.

One of the techniques taught to the children in this lesson is to use I messages. An I message empowers students being teased by giving them a way to assert their feelings, without taking the bait of the teaser.

The format of the I message is:

1. I feel…

2. When…

3. I would like…

For example: I feel upset when you tease me by calling me four eyes. I would like you to stop. The message is practiced with eye contact, good posture, and in a calm, clear voice.

Find opportunities to model using I messages at home. You can help your child see and hear the way to use this important technique to diffuse sensitive, emotional situations. More valuable techniques can be found in: Easing the Teasing by Judy S. Freedman.

We hope you will talk with your child about what s/he learned from hearing this. If they do not recall, you can preface the conversation by talking about your own experiences and help them practice I messages. By doing that you will be affirming your love for your child and supporting their classroom learning opportunities.

If you would like more information about the ABC program please visit www.projectcornerstone.org.